Jul 2, 2010

Love Bank

Are you rich? I mean do you have a nice bank balance? In the Love Bank that is.

The theory is that for each person we come in contact with, we keep a love bank the unit of transaction being "good or positive feelings". When people do something nice we "credit" their accounts with a deposit of positive feelings and when they do something bad we "debit" from their accounts.

Have you made enough deposits in your love banks lately? Or are you making mostly withdrawals? As long as negatives do not outweigh the positives, the relationship is secure. Once it goes the other way, things get not so pleasant. Appreciation, compliments, nice gestures grow your balance whereas nitpicking, complaints, not caring etc diminish your bank balance. Depending on how much balance is in someones account, you feel more fond of them than others.

In a marriage too, this concept plays a role. Without much efforts some people can go on making deposits while others could go one making withdrawals. You know what happens when the withdrawals become more than the deposits, the bank balance goes in negative shutting down access completely.

Simple acts of kindness such as ordering in dinner, helping with chores, surprising with a backyard picnic, buying a favorite something when it is not expected, even opening up the windows to let cool fresh breeze come in, can all easily accumulate your balance.

Putting one down in front of friends/family, being disrespectful, hurtful words & gestures, always demanding to be served, ignoring tears, not spending enough time, getting affixed to TV/computer/you-name-it, would easily drain your balance.

Once it goes in negative, when the bank shuts down, it is very difficult to fix things right. I would say the fragile of all is the human heart. Once ones dreams are shattered and he/she starts withdrawing from things/people it is at a loss for long.

The busyness of life do not always help us focus on people most dear to us. It is important to make an effort to pause every now and then to tally our accounts making sure we have a positive balance in our love banks. Last night I made an extravagent dinner, with many dishes, fresh sambar, rice, appalam, fried fish etc. It was not any special event, I was just making a HUGE deposit in my spouse's account.

Now that we all have a nice long weekend to look forward to, let us not forget to make some deposits on the way in some of the important accounts especially that of our spouses and kids...

Happy Banking all! Enjoy the sunshine... Please click here for the follow up post: Love Bank - Direct Deposit


A said...

One more practical advice :) As I always say...readings you can relate with..close to life, practical, simple and useful :)

NRIGirl said...

Thank you A! Enjoy the weekend! Have a blast!

A said...

Traveling over the weekend..no 4th July weekend for me. I am working on 5th. But then vacation. I won't have access to internet for weeks now.

NRIGirl said...

A! May be when you return you can write about how it was without Internet for weeks :)

SG said...

Very practical suggestion for everyone to follow.

NRIGirl said...

Thank you SG! Nice to hear from you.

~ NRIGirl

Anonymous said...

That's very true. We need to keep those tips in mind. Thanks.

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