Jun 30, 2010

Pecking hen no more...

It is all natural for people to have disagreement on any given topic. However constant pecking in a marriage leads to distruction. Little friction helps for better bonding, but overdoing it will spoil the fun of being together.

I wouldn't call myself a pecking hen, but I admit I have had my share at it. It would seem as simple as saying the truth. For example if I suggest something and my spouse doesn't opt for my suggestion, does something else and fails, I would comment, "I told you so". Over years similar innocent 'told you so"'s led me to think a little too high of myself.

I would go on to say, "You never listen" which is total blaming or something like "Girls are more matured than men" etc, which under estimates his decision making capacity and is absolutely unncessary.

In the recent past I realized it was a huge mistake to be pecking so frequently and testing his patience constantly. I decided to make an effort to avoid my boastings. I started treating his suggestions with an open mind - without any bias on his historical failed decisions. I made it a point to compliment his successful suggestions/decisions.

For example I would say, "Thank you for picking Toyota over Honda when we got the minivan" or something like, "Good thing you didn't let me buy it then, it was worth the wait as now they have it in Costco for much cheaper rate but much better quality". Or admitting my past historical mistakes too such as "I should have listened to you when we bought the flat screen TV, we should have gone with the earlier model which was less expensive & had all features we were looking for, I fell for the model..."

When new disagreements surface, I will suggest my opinion and then would add on, "I have full confidence in your decision, I know you have the best intentions in mind, go for it" giving him total control of the reign. Believe it or not, this liberates me as I am not frustrated if he decides to choose another route, and I am not nervous about the validity of my suggestion being the solution.

Over the years/months/weeks/days seeing me change for better, stirs a change in him too. Even on matters he normally wouldn't care to discuss, he asks for my opinion and sometimes - if not always - gives me the credit for something good that happens. I make sure my head doesn't get heavy from the compliment, and simply add, "It was you who finally decided, so the credit goes to you!" I can assure you this helps us bond stronger...

Your 'take away' I suggest is: Let go of the reign, Enjoy the freedom the free ride brings...

Jun 26, 2010

Bushkill Falls

If you are visiting NJ/NY/PA area and have a day at hand, I would recommend you visit the Bushkill Falls in PA. It is a beautiful place where you come upclose with nature. Don't forget your sneakers and water as you walk, walk & walk in the beautiful decks that run alongside creaks and water falls.

There are three trails to choose from. There are options to switch trails and make it shorter or longer as you wish during the course of your trek.

The decks are not stroller-friendly, as there are lots of steps to climb. So the best option for infants is to carry them.

Entrance fee is $10 per person. It is definitely worth it! For little kids there is pedal boat ride and mini golf which is not included in the entry fee.

As my blogger friend SG reminds me, Bushkill falls is affectionately called "The Niagara of Pennsylvania".

Here are few pictures taken last weekend to give you a feel of what to expect...

Tom or Jerry? Whose side are you on?!

This is a re post...

I love watching Tom & Jerry cartoons. For a long time I was rooting for Jerry but lately my attention has turned towards Tom. Not sure if the change is in me or in Jerry but I can now clearly see it is Jerry who starts any chase, causing Tom unneccessary troubles.

I used to be happy when Jerry escapes Tom's plans but these days I wouldn't mind if Tom bites Jerry - at least once! I feel bad for Tom that Jerry always escapes.

Tracing back to what caused this sudden change of favoritism in me, I am not too sure, but one reason could  be that then I was a child and now I am a parent! or it could be that now I watch it from the Start to the End - so I can see for sure Jerry is the trouble maker, the initiator...

Jun 22, 2010

Yummy Cherry

Got to taste a yummy cherry today. Sincere thanks to A Simple Blogger for awarding my post Garbage Collection with the Cherry on Top award! I would say it is one of my favorite posts as well. Every time I read it I am encouraged to walk the talk myself.

I decided to frame my award for an extra punch. How's that?!

Now that I am gratefully accepting the award, I need to abide by the rules. It feels like you all know me well as my posts are quiet open about me... However I am asked to list few good things about me:

1. I love to give. This is a true statement. I mostly buy things to give away rather than for myself.

2. My conscious is clear on this any given day: I do not hesitate to reconcile differences and ask for forgiveness when intentionally or unintentionally I hurt someone.

3. It is not difficult for me to make new friends. I have friends from all walks of life and I love them all dearly.

I wish to pass on the award to my friend and Tamil blogger Sillvandu! Those who have read his blog would agree with me that Bawa's writing style is just great!

Jun 20, 2010

Blessed is the Man!

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD"

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction; and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
~ Proverbs: 1:8
Happy Fathers Day!

Here's your blessings from the scriptures: Psalms 1

1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

Wishing you Dads according to these verses... Surely you will be a blessing to many generations to come.

Guest Blog: Center of the Universe

Dear all! Hope you are enjoying the guest posts from friends as much as I enjoy posting them. Here's one from a good friend of ours Beschi Joel. Please email me at nrigirl@hotmail.com if you would like to submit a post as well.

About the Author: Beschi is one of the best we have encountered. He has a genuine love for his friends and family. Always looking to help others, not caring much for his own benefit. We truly enjoy each opportunity we get to chat with him on varying subjects. Here he is talking about how his first priority has become His Saviour over the years...

Our children are the center of our Universe now. We need to expand our circle and bring in the poor and downtrodden in our thoughts and prayers. Then into plan and actions.

I am slowly learning that my center should be God. Self, Parents and Children come after wards. We need to learn to connect to our own inner self and to the kids, spouse, parents and friends through God. God has to be the first link that connects us to any one else including our self. By self , I mean our own impulses, desires, motives, intentions. When God comes as the first connection, we get His Mercy, Love, Compassion, Wisdom and Guidance.

I stray away from God and Wander and He pulls me like a magnet. Like a planet is kept in an orbit around a star, I am pulled closer to Him. We are all like that. Some take a longer orbit. Some spin very close by. Some unite with the Star.

I believe that even a cruel person has a purpose. He helps others pause , think and change course. God created him and used him for the good of many as a warning. God will reward , compensate and console those who suffer/suffered, in His own time and in His own ways. We also go through many surprises in Life, pleasant and sad. We may not find answers for all.

God could have used us as a cruel person for a purpose. We have to ask God. Why I did I do that ? How could I do that ? I used to KILL birds and squirrels when I was in high school using a catapult. I am deeply hurt by that NOW. How do I compensate ? Who can forgive me ?

God has to heal me. God probably comforted the spirits of those creations and renewed them. ( do they have a soul/spirit ? Ecclesiates 3:18-21, Job,Psalm 104:29-31)

We are no different. When we suffer in the hands of others, we need to pause and think and Glorify God. He has a purpose. When we are happy, then also let us rejoice and Glorify God.

What else is a better option ?

Jun 18, 2010

Series: This NRI Life; Post: 3

I am excited to submit the third post on the series: This NRI Life... It is interesting to get different perspective on the same topic. If you wish to write a guest post for NRIGirl blog, please feel free to email me at nrigirl@hotmail.com

About the Author: Bawa Kaseem is my classmate and good friend during my Masters. I used to share my journal entries with him for his valuable comments in our college days. Over years we had lost contact, but Face Book brought us together again. He is a great blogger and writes in Tamil. I admire his writing style; as he brings the scene in front of our eyes ...

For those who can't read Tamil, I owe you a translation. Since I didn't want to hold off on his post till my translation is done, I decided to go ahead with publishing it. Please share the link with your Tamil speaking friends/family. You may visit his blog at: http://www.sillvandu.blogspot.com/

Ladies & Gentlemen! Let's welcome my good friend Bawa Kaseem!

'க்' கிழந்த வாழ்க்கை! ("LIFE" without the "L")

"க்" இழந்த வாழ்க்கை! என்னைப் பொறுத்தவரை இந்த NRI வாழ்க்கை.

ஆரம்பத்தில் எல்லாம் அருமையாகத்தான் இருந்தது.

"இன்னைக்கு ஒரு கல்யாணத்துக்கு போயிருந்தோம். நம்ம சொந்தக்காரங்க எல்லாம் உன்னைப்பத்தி விசாரிச்சாங்க! நீ இப்போ அமெரிக்காவுல வேலை பாத்திட்டிருக்கறதா சொன்னப்போ எங்களுக்கு கொஞ்சம் பெருமையாத்தான் இருந்துச்சு!"
-- என்று என் நெருங்கிய சொந்தங்கள் கூறியபோது, அவர்களை பெருமை கொள்ள வைத்ததை எண்ணி எனக்கும் பெருமையாகத்தான் இருந்தது.

திக்கித் திணறி ஆங்கிலத்தில் செமினார் எடுக்க கல்லூரியில் திண்டாடிய பழைய நிலையிலிருந்து, அமெரிக்காவிலேயே வந்து இந்த ஆங்கிலத்தின் மத்தியிலேயே வாழ்க்கையை நகர்த்தும் நிலை வரை வந்து சேர்ந்தது அதிர்ஷ்டம்தான் என்றே தோன்றியது. எப்படியோ, என் மீது அக்கறை கொண்டவர்கள் கவலைப்படும்படியான நிலையினை உண்டாக்காமல் கரை அல்லது இக்கரை சேர்ந்தது ஒரு வித நிம்மதியை மனதுக்குத் தரத்தான் செய்தது.

எல்லாம் அருமையாகத்தான் இருந்தது!

சிலருக்கு சில உதவிகள் செய்ய முடிந்ததில், அதைச் செய்ததால் அவர்கள் மனமாற வாழ்த்தியதில், ஒரு திருப்தியும், அளவிடமுடியாத ஆனந்தமும் மனதை சூழத்தான் செய்தது. 'முடியுமோ?' என யோசித்து பயந்தவை யாவும் முடியும் என்றானபோது ஒரு தைரியமும் பிறக்கத்தான் செய்தது. தடுமாற்றம் இன்றி, தள்ளாட்டம் இன்றி வாழ்க்கையை அதிகக் கவலைகள் இன்றி வாழ்ந்திடலாம் என்று நம்பிக்கையும் உண்டாக,

அருமையாகத்தான் இருந்தது இந்த NRI வாழ்க்கை, அந்த ஆரம்ப நாட்களில்.

~~~ 0 ~~~

"கார் வாங்கப்போறேன் பா!"

"என்ன கார் வாங்கப்போறே?"


"சந்தோஷம்டா!" என்றார் அப்பா.

பொடியானாக இருந்த போது யாரோ ஒரு பெரியவர் என் மனதில் ஒரு கனவுக்கு விதையிட்டிருந்தார்...,

"படிச்சு பெரிய ஆள் ஆகனும்! வாப்பாவ பாத்தியா நல்லா படிச்சதுனாலதானே இன்னைக்கு பெரிய வேலையிலே இருக்காங்க... நீ வாப்பாவ விட பெரிய ஆளா வரணும்!" -- என்று அந்த பெரியவர், அவர் மடியில் என்னை உட்காரவைத்து இப்படி உபதேசித்திருந்தார்.

"வாப்பாவ விட எப்படி பெரிய ஆளா வரமுடியும்?" என்று நான் அவரிடம் கேட்டதும், அதைக்கேட்டு அந்த பெரியவர் சிரித்ததும், அவர் சிரிப்பது ஏன் எனப் புரியாமல் நான் விழித்ததும் இன்றும் எனக்கு நன்றாக ஞாபகம் இருக்கிறது.

"நீ நல்லா படிச்சு, பெரிய பையன் ஆகி, பெரிய வேலையிலே சேர்ந்து, கை நிறைய சம்பாதிச்சு, கார் வாங்கும்போது வாப்பாவ விட பெரிய ஆள் ஆகிடுவே. வாப்பா கிட்டே மோட்டார் பைக் தானே இருக்கு? கார், மோட்டார் பைக்க விட பெருசுதானே? அப்போ நீ கார் வாங்கும்போது வாப்பாவ விட பெரிய ஆள் ஆயிடுவேயில்லே?" -- கேட்டார்.

"ம்..!" -- என்றேன் புரிந்தும் புரியாத ஒரு குழப்ப நிலையில். அவரே தொடர்ந்து,

"அப்படி நீ கார் வாங்கி பெரிய ஆளாகி காட்டுறதுதான் வாப்பாக்கு பெரிய சந்தோஷத்த கொடுக்கும். வாப்பாவ சந்தோஷப்பட வைப்பியா?" -- கேட்டார்.

"ம்..!" -- என்று அவர் கேள்விக்கு அன்று தலையாட்டியபோதுதான் அந்த கனவுக்கான விதை என் மனதில் விழுந்தது. "கார் வாங்கிட்டேன்பா" என்று அப்பாவிடம் கூறி அவர் சந்தோஷத்தை அவர் முகத்தில் பார்க்கவேண்டும் என்பதுதான் அந்த கனவு. நான் வளர்கையில் என் கனவையும் உரமிட்டு வளர்த்து வந்தேன்.

இன்று, இதோ போனில் கூறுகிறேன் கார் வாங்கப் போகும் விஷயத்தை. ஆனால், அப்பாவின் சந்தோஷத்தை அவர் குரல் வடிவில் மட்டும்தான் கேட்க முடிகிறது. மகிழும் அவர் முகத்தை பார்க்க வேண்டும் எனும் என் கனவு நனவாகவில்லையே.

எத்தனை காலத்து கனவு? எத்தனை காலத்துக் காத்திருப்பு? காலம் கனிந்தும் வருகிறது, காரும் வாங்குகிறேன். ஆனால் நினைத்ததைப் போல நடக்கவில்லையே? நான் அமெரிக்காவில் என்னைப் பெற்றவர்கள் இந்தியாவில். இதை என்னவென்பது? கனவு நனவானதென்றோ, இல்லை நனவாகவில்லையென்றோ சொல்ல முடியாத குழப்ப நிலை. ஆதலால் என் மனதில் மகிழ்ச்சி இல்லை.

"கார் வாங்கிட்டு ஒரு போட்டோ எடுத்து எங்களுக்கு அனுப்பு!" -- என்றார் அப்பா.

ஷோரூமிலிருந்து..., இந்த ஊர் வழக்கப்படி சொல்வதென்றால் டீலரிடமிருந்து, காரை எடுத்து தனியாக வீட்டுக்கு வந்துகொண்டிருந்தேன். அப்போதுதான் மனதில் இன்னொரு ஏக்கம் முளை விட்டது.

அம்மாவுக்கு காரின் முன் சீட்டில் உட்கார்ந்து பயணிப்பதில் ஒருவிதக் கூச்சம் உண்டு. என் மாமா கார் எடுத்து வரும்போதெல்லாம் "முன்னாடி உக்காரு அக்கா!" என அம்மாவை முன் சீட்டில் உட்காரச்சொல்லி வம்புக்கிழுப்பதும், அம்மா மாட்டேன் என்று அடம் பிடிப்பதும் எங்கள் வீட்டில் வாடிக்கையாக நடக்கும் வேடிக்கை.

இப்படி ஓர் கூச்சம் கொண்டிருந்தாலும், "என் பிள்ளை கார் வாங்கும்போது அவன் கூட முன் சீட்டில் உக்கார்ந்து நான் ஜம்முன்னு போவேன்....!" -- என்று அம்மா அடிக்கடி கூறுவதுண்டு. அது மாமாவை கோபம் கொள்ளவைக்க கூறினாலும், அம்மாவின் மனதில் உண்மையில் அப்படி ஒரு ஆசை இருக்கிறது என்பதை மாமா கண்டறிந்து சொல்லும் முன்னரே நானும் உணர்ந்துதான் இருந்தேன்.

இதோ, கார் வாங்கி வருகிறேன். நான் மட்டும் தனியாக ஓட்டிக்கொண்டு வருகிறேன். என்ன பிரயோஜனம்? அப்பாவின் சந்தோஷத்தை பார்த்து அனுபவிக்க முடியவில்லை. அம்மாவை, முன் சீட்டில் உட்காரவைத்து பயணித்து அவள் ஆசையை நிறைவேற்றி திருப்தி காண முடியவில்லை. 'என் அண்ணனின் கார்' என உரிமை கொண்டாடும் தங்கையின் பெருமையை கண்டு இரசிக்க முடியவில்லை. என்னை பாசத்தோடு சுற்றிச் சுற்றி வரும் என் மாமன் பிள்ளைகளை காரில் ஏற்றி ஓர் உலா போக முடியவில்லை. என் ஆனந்தத்தில் பங்கு கொண்டு என்னோடு சேர்ந்து ஆனந்திக்கும் என் சொந்தங்கள் யாருமே என் அருகே இல்லை. ஏதோ காற்கறி கடைக்குச்சென்று கத்திரிக்காய் வாங்கி வருவதைப்போலத்தான் நானும் கார் வாங்கி வந்துகொண்டிருக்கிறேன்.

பல மடங்காகப் பல்கிப்பெருகியது ஏக்கம். மனதில் துளி கூட மகிழ்ச்சி தோன்றவில்லை. மாறாக, சோகமும் ஏமாற்றமும் மாத்திரம்தான் மிஞ்சுகிறது. இக்கரை வந்து சேர்ந்தது பாக்கியமா? அபாக்கியமா? என்று முதல் முதலாகச் சந்தேகம் எழுந்தது அப்போதுதான். இதே நிலை தொடர்ந்தால் அது அபாயம்தான்.

இந்த வாழ்க்கை 'க்' கிழக்கத் துவங்கியதும் அப்போதுதான்.

Jun 17, 2010

Series: This NRI Life; Post: 2

Note: I requested some of you to write a guest post on the topic:This NRI Life. If you are not an NRI please feel free to pick your own topic. If you are interested please feel free to contact me at nrigirl@hotmail.com I will be glad to publish your guest post in NRIGirl blog.

About the Author: It's Me NRIGirl. You know me well by now, so there is nothing new to say about me. Thought I too will add my two cents on This NRI Life...

Case For & Against

During the Exodus when the Israelites wandered the desert, they were provided with Manna - a kind of food that rained down and they were asked to collect as much as they needed. They had specific instructions that they need not store for the future as everyday they will get new showers of Manna. The scripture says, when they measured it after gathering it from the fields, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one gathered as much as he needed. That's the comparison I get to picture when I think of This NRI Life vs. the RI Life.

Just because we earn in $'s are we better off than our counterparts back home? I don't think so. Whatever they make in India is quiet enough for them to live there, just as whatever we make here is quiet enough for us to live here... So in that aspect I don't see a huge difference in This NRI Life.

However, one thing I have come to truly appreciate of This NRI Life is the fact that we as a family (the husband, wife & children) are brought together as one unit. We don't have much distractions; both parents take part in child rearing which is a HUGE plus. In India though it is a blessing to have your extended family around, it kind of dilutes the core family bondage. The "leave & cleave" part of marriage gets a little tough there.

In my experience the biggest advantage of This NRI Life is that we can truly make a difference in the lives of the less fortunate back home. We are able to help the needy with their necessary expenses such as children's education, daughters marriage, loan repayment, medical needs, fixing their leaking homes, etc... Not too sure if we could have been such a source of blessing to many, if it was not for This NRI Life...

The only "against" I can think of is the fact we miss having our dear ones near us. When people get together for holidays with their families, it leaves us aching with pangs of regrets for ever leaving our home country...  Christmas, Easter & New Years were full of joy back home. If our dear ones too reside in our resident country, I am sure we could bring in the same JOY here too - in which case This NRI Life would seem complete...

Jun 15, 2010

Series: This NRI Life; Post:1

Introducing a new series"This NRI Life" I have requested some of the readers &  fellow bloggers to write a guest post for our blog. Here's the first post I have received. Stay tuned for more to come.... If I haven't contacted you in person, but you are interested in writing a post, please contact me at nrigirl@hotmail.com.

About the Author: I would say "A" is my very first blogger friend. I have come to appreciate him a lot during my blogging life. He is always ready to comment on my posts which is such an encouragement for a budding blogger like me. He is a world traveler and from time to time amazes us with travel snapshots & quizes. I enjoy his posts and requested him to write a guest blog for NRIGirl. He has covered a serious topic here;  making us to think before judging anyone...  Please join me in welcoming our Guest blogger, "A"!
You may visit his blog when you have a moment: “A” Simple Blogger of Simply Speaking.
NRI Women: Are they really liberated?

“Rupa is a loose character. I am not sending my daughter to her for Art Class,” Sunita said assertively.
“Why do you think like that?” Anjali asked
“She separated from her husband and moved out. She is getting divorce, “Sunita replied.
“I can go and setup her new apartment,” Sunita’s husband interjected.
“Divorce is not a crime. We don't know the details,” Anjali tried to be objective.
“Well. She had called police two times earlier and accused her husband of violence and now she has moved out. She must be at fault,” Sunita continued to be judgmental.
“What did police conclude?” Anjali asked
“Probably police warned her husband but she is a bad example for Indian society. It is always woman’s fault. She needs to be more tolerant. Everybody has arguments,” Sunita replied

No. Sunita is not an uneducated woman living in a small village of India in 1960s.
Sunita is a Non Resident Indian born and brought up in the USA with a Bachelors degree in computer science and working full time in computer industry. She has two children including one daughter. Her husband is a businessman and they live in a million dollar house.

Despite her education and presumed broad minded attitude, Sunita looks down at Rupa because Rupa moved out to formalize divorce. Sunita does not know Rupa’s differences with her husband. She does not want to know either. She has disposition in her mind that in a divorce situation the wife is always at fault.

The social worker helping Rupa knows that she is a victim of domestic violence and finally stood up for herself and made a decision to get out turbulent marriage and humiliating life. Rupa is a first generation immigrant who came to the USA with her husband. Emotionally, financially, socially controlled and physically tortured by her manipulative husband for fifteen years in an alien country, she finally found a job and left him. Of course she tried to correct the situation by involving her and his parents in India but she was told to be obedient. All friends are common family friends and that makes it difficult to involve them.

Lack of support system, expectation to be an obedient and ideal Indian wife, limited true friends and excessive dependence on husband can suffocate NRI women in an unhappy marriage. It is not hard to imagine the misery if the unhappy marriage is coupled with physical and mental abuse.

Being in the USA does not lessen the extent of the issues. Stigma attached with separation or divorce is similar to India or in some cases worst because of clinging to old age values that treat woman as a household item. There are other women like Rupa who stood up for themselves and became independent. There is a large percentage who may still be suffering.

A large number of Non Resident Indian women and men still think like Sunita. Is it right? Can we change it?
This post has been contributed by “A” Simple Blogger of Simply Speaking. “A” writes on variety of subjects including issues related to family life, short stories and travelogues.

Jun 14, 2010

Vuvuzelas - so annoying

As the World Cup 2010 is being watched all our waking - non working hours the past few days, I am so annoyed that my husband finds it so interesting to watch - what is more annoying is the constant buzzing sound in the background. 

First I thought it was our speakers or the cable but then I realized it is neither & had to look it up. I understand it is a blowing instrument called "vuvuzelas".

Can they not ban it from stadiums? What makes it fun when it is so annoying to us even thousands of miles away?! Imagine how it will be for those in the stadium with these vuvuzelas enthusiasts!

Wikipedia has a detailed article on it. Check it out here if interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vuvuzela

Jun 13, 2010

Translantic bet

Did you know the US Ambassador to UK had a bet with his counterpart (Britain's ambassador to US) over the England vs. US world cup game?

The "losing" ambassador was to treat the "winning" ambassador at his choice of restaurant. I thought this was very interesting and kept keen eyes on the game to see who wins.

Interestingly the game ended in a draw. Now the ambassadors will still meet but they will split the bill!

That makes me feel better... I was afraid we would have to pay in full!

Jun 12, 2010

Out of Egypt

Merry & Cheer they left
Out of Egypt with their clan

Gold & Silver as gifts
Slaves no more but free

Away they traveled with dance
Much singing & chatting as they fled

Few days & few nights into their trek
Oh lo! Red sea in the front

As they looked back to check
Oh lo! the army behind

Their hearts all ached with fear
Nowhere to flee from both

They looked to their leader with prayer
He begged to the Father in Heaven

As they watched with so much fear
An amazing event occured

The sea parted in half giving way
They hurried by foot all the way

All Grannnies, the young and the sick
All Mommies, the babies and kids

With Daddies, the animals, and all
With fear and trembling and hope

The sea stood as high walls you see
On both sides, it was a great sight

The wind was so harsh to the sea
Yet so gentle to the folks as they walked

Armies behind them to chase
In charriots and fast running horse

As the last person put out his feet
Out of the parted red sea

While the army was still in mid way
The sea came back with such force

Whole army was killed in no time
While People rejoiced with glea

Not one of them lost in the sea
It's a constant reminder to us

No matter how big is our sea
No matter how fast is the foe

God opens a way for us out
For sure as He is true!

Jun 10, 2010

His Needs; Her Needs - A Vicious Cycle

As you would agree men and women are wired differently. There are a list of needs for men and women, and the list goes in an order. For men their primary need is respect whereas for women it is love.

When a couple come together in a marriage, both have mutual love and respect for each other. However, at the onset of their first major disagreement, one of the need is broken. Either the man gets the upper hand and does something nasty - not worthy of respect OR the woman gets the upper hand and does something worse - not worthy of love.

The wife now can not respect a man who does not love her, and the husband can not love a woman who does not respect him. This starts what I call as the "Catch 22 of Marriage" or in other words "A Vicious Cycle". When the primary need for "love" and "respect" is not met, none of the other needs in the list can be met by either of them and this starts a domino effect down the hill collapsing the peace & harmony of a marriage union in no time.

The Solution? Is for one of them to dare. Either to Love Dare or Respect Dare. What does it mean? To respect when he seems not worthy of respect, and to love when she seems not worthy of love. Of course it is not easy. Or it depends on how bad the disagreement was. This is exactly where the third string of the marriage comes into play. The Divine love. There is a conviction or a forgiving heart that moves on from the scene - that chooses to love the seemingly un-lovable or to respect the seemingly un-respectable.

When the other partner sees this, he loves her more or she respects him more in return, as by then she/he realizes what she/he did was wrong in the first place and sees the other person loving/respecting her/him inspite of that.

Now that the first need is met, the rest is to follow. That being said, I challenge us (including myself) to Dare!

Jun 8, 2010

Honey! Where is the moon?

Night Sky is here;
Bright stars are near - but
Honey! Where is the moon?

Nice breeze is here
Much love I do hear - but
Honey! Where is the moon?

Cool night is here;
Sweet dreams for sure; - but
Honey! Where is the moon?

Pretty flowers have bloomed
Red cherries abound - but
Honey! Where is the moon?

Green grass is all cut
Fresh food is all set - but
Honey! Where is the moon?

House is all clean,
Our nest is all calm - but
Honey! Where is the moon?

Kids are not near
We miss them so dear - so
Honey! I sent them the moon!

When the kids return home
Our house becomes home - then
Honey! the moon will be back!

When the moon returns back;
With our kids around us - Honey
It will be Honey Moon!

Jun 5, 2010

Anamika - A Jewel to the crown

Dear All! Join me in wishing the best for Anamika Veeramani who added a new jewel to the crown of Mother India, in this years Spelling Bee. I am sure we all take pride in her as one of ours makes it BIG.

As her brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles let us follow her lead and aim to bring a jewel to Mother India's crown by being the best of whatever we are!

Hats off to you Anamika! You surely rock!

To know more about Anamika, visit: http://public.spellingbee.com/public/spellers/2010/185

Jun 3, 2010

Tirunelveli Junction

Tirunelveli Junction as I recall at the start of my journey...

Freshly smelling jasmines, marigolds and roses, little girls selling them with fresh smiling faces
Cheerful welcomes, tearful send offs as people rotate the phases
Uniformed porters, trolley men claiming weary passengers
Taxi drivers, auto owners so annoying with their offers

Water coolers & coffee shops rimmed with passing travelers
Magazine stalls & sweet vendors stacking local favorites
Young and old of different kinds, makes and models
Men and women of varying age, height and sizes

Freshly made local snacks igniting new appetite
Fathers rushing to pack some for the onward bound journey
Little lads selling hot tea,coffee and water
Loud speakers announcing trains arriving & departing

Little girl begging with a baby as her back pack
Her healthy mom at a distance with keen eyes on her daughters
The poor and needy homeless little far off from the platforms

Local cops chasing them to move on from their comforts
The round and wealthy politician with supporters at his service
His golden fingers gleaming with rubies, emeralds & diamonds
The clean and crispy TTR with whistle, red & green flags
Big clocks from business owners, showing the minutes flying

Little kids crying for plastic watch, goggles and balloons
Their moms & dads ignoring their tearful pleas for pleasures
Loving uncles rushing off to buy them the tempting treasures
Brighten kids with smiley faces fondly hugging uncles

Quick to show off new found joy to not so lucky seat mate
Poor kid wishes for such an uncle who could buy him gifts too
The early birds settled at leisure soaking in the scenes around
The late comers huzzle buzzling to load their many belongings

Newly weds off to start their own dreamy journey
Forever weds back home to rest from hard & weary races
All along the name board says it is Tirunelveli Junction
Exactly where my journey started with my charming Mr.Handsome

This is from my memory lane a dozen or so years ago
Will check again in my next visit to compare the scenes right now
Could have changed with better scenes but my love remains constant
For the familiar place dear to my heart is Tirunelveli Junction.

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