When in school someone sent me anonymous notes, like "You would be my goddess if my heart were a temple" or "I am your big fan" or "I admire you" etc. Being in an all girls school I considered it silly and ignored it for sometime and then I thought this was getting serious. So I asked to meet.
It turns out she was a girl from my junior class, her name was Sudha. I told her I appreciated her fondness for me and that I would love to be good friends with her. She was delighted by my acceptance of her that she fit quite well in my circle of friends and we had a great time together. True her "love notes" stopped then.
My friend's sister around that age was on hunger strike since actor Amir Khan had got married. Israel admits he and his friends were so hurt over actress Sridevi's love affair with someone, they skipped a meal or two; someone even grew a beard.
Silly as it may sound these kind of infatuations could become serious problems if neglected. These "friendships" are unhealthy in the first place and could lead to disasters if left untreated. It could even become fatal in extreme cases. How sad is that! Hard to believe such attacks coming from folks of same gender.
Shockingly a growing reason for failed marriages is friendship between same gender. It starts innocently as a friend, and soon the husband and wife spend less and less time together and this "friend" consumes more of their time (either the husband's or the wife's) which ultimately leads to destruction.
Now the question is how to overcome such 'parasites' if you will. Here are few tips we learnt in a marriage class:
1. Invest in each other. Every kind gesture is a "credit" and every unkind one is a "debit"; the idea is to keep a positive balance in your Love Bank.
2. If you don't invest in your husband or wife, someone else will and it may be harder to win her/him back.
3. Watch out for these parasites in your life and stay clear of unwanted, unhealthy friendships.
4. Play together.
Enjoying recreational activities together is a great way for couples to bond better. If he is into fishing and you are into knitting, why not knit by his fishing pond? What if you enjoy the outdoors and he is a home body? Great chance to set out a picnic in your own back yard! Where there is a will, there is a way!
Now, few tips for the "parasites" themselves:
1. Be true to yourself. No, your life is NOT dependent on this one person.
2. Develop healthy attitude in life. Exercise your body, mind and soul.
3. Read. The pages can take you places. The chances are you will meet new people out there.
4. Replace your bad habits with good.
5. Pray! Trust me it works.
We get only one chance at life. Let's stop (being) such parasites from (by) making it miserable.
Note to my friend: Hang in there! This too shall pass!