Oct 15, 2011

Story time!

Rachel has been busy these days - she is writing a story. I like what she has written so far and got her permission to share it. Posted as is...  Rachel is 12; attends 7th Grade.

Untitled - By Rachel Israel

How would you like to be made really famous just for talking about someone’s life? Like, just for writing a stupid story about some-little-nobody’s life. That is what I’m doing, but it isn’t the easiest thing to do. In fact, I feel like I’m embarrassing her in front of the world, (TOO BAD) but somewhere deep down inside, I’m trying to protect that little-nobody by writing this story. If I write this story nobody will think she exists, and overall, I’ll win. :)

Or if you decide to doubt my words, I’m OK. For all you care, I could be writing this just for the sake of entertainment. But between you and me, this book is deadly in its own way. It could be a lie or even worse, the truth.


I walked along the streets of New York as fast as I could. I went from block to block searching for IT. IT wouldn’t be very important to most people but to me, it was. I was abandoned, friendless, and alone. I was on the most dangerous mission of my life. My mission was to find Jezebel. Jezebel was so nice but her evil thoughts were so obvious. I knew I shouldn’t have befriended her. I should’ve seen it coming but as keen as I was, I had failed to sense it and in turn she betrayed me.

I raced past another Dunkin Donuts and when I smelled the brewing coffee, and that is what really woke me up. I realized where IT could really be. After I had narrowed it down to a smaller number, I set out to find IT. As I was getting faster and faster by the moment I turned around. Just for that time I had seemed to lose my mannerly actions. Then I gave out a sharp cry as I bumped into the last person that I would expect to see, Jezebel.


I was very shocked to see Jezebel here. I hoped that she wouldn’t recognize me the same way I had recognized her. Before she looked up, I blew wisps of my silky brown bangs in front of my eyes and pulled my head down just in case she did happen to notice me.

Before I continue, Why are my eyes covered you might ask. I have the most recognizable eyes that you would have ever seen. If you tried to forget it, you wouldn’t be able to. It’s scary, I know. I’m trying not to get my eyes noticed by many people. Just for the record, in case you see Jezebel; don’t tell her you saw a brown-haired girl with blue eyes tinted the lightest shade of purple or in other words, me.

I kept on walking after my encounter with Jezebel. If I saw her here then maybe just maybe there’s a chance that IT’s here too. As I was looking for IT every second that passed by made me feel more rushed. I felt the darkness of Jezebel’s schemes closing in on me. It seemed inevitable.

Thinking back on my first encounters with Jezebel I wonder, was she still looking for me or did she get over it yet? Jezebel was last seen by The AGENCY members saw her was at very big fire. When the AGENCY heard that she got out they told us all to run. After all we were the people who “ruined” her life.


I’ve been running for about two months literally! I’m roaming the streets of New York. I’ve passed Jezebel once already in this big city. Will this be it? Is this the only clue I get? As I was inquiring myself, a rather rare object caught my attention.

I stood in the middle of a zebra-patterned road. “5…4…” the lights flashed, cars seemed to screaming “Get out of the way!”

I stood in front of the cars as the light were blinking its last numbers. I grabbed the oddest looking piece of glass. It resembled a heart and it had many corners and edges. The glass was also tinted green.

I ran across the street just in time. I stood at the end of the street marveling at the piece of glass, “This must be it!” I said to myself. I kept it in my pocket. Little did I know that it was blinking like a tracking device. No, wait! It was a tracking device.

Across the street in an alley stood a young business man he pressed a few buttons on his phone then in his dreary monotonous voice said, “She has taken the bait.” A smile crept onto the man’s face but he quickly wiped it off, and he continued to nonchalantly carry his briefcase. When he turned around the corner, just as if you had turned a light off, he vanished.

... to be continued


NRIGirl said...

To tell you the truth, I read it in full only after posting it here. Interesting what all thoughts goes in to an 'author's mind. Let's wait and see how it flows.

I promise to get you frequent updates on it as she shares - of coourse I will put no pressure on her lest she loses her interest to write...

rachel said...

Thank you Mommy. I will try not to loose intrest.


~ Rachel

Jyothi said...

WOW! This is some writing. Can wait to read more. Good Job Rachel.

Jyothi said...

Can't wait....Sorry for the typo! :)

anilkurup said...

Take and tender the shoot with care. Soon, I wish it may blossom .

adithyasaravana said...

this is good and intriguing.. the suspense is maintained..and want to know what happens next..

kavita said...

Great job Rachel .Congratulations to mom and you :) Now we want more ......

grandma said...

Rachel darling, I love you !
Like your story.
keep writing.

Bikramjit said...

I see she is has talent too jsut like you :)
Lovely writing Rachel.. Well done to you .. and keep wriitng ..

Thanks for sharing ..

A said...

Good job Rachel. No offence Queen, Rachels writes better than you......(and of course that makes her better than me too)

Kids are original.

....Petty Witter said...

Well done Rachel on a great story, keep up the writing and I'm sure we'll see you in print one day.

Jacinth said...

Dear Rachel, This is excellent. Can wait to read the continuation..

Jacinth said...

Sorry for the typo: Can't wait..

Black Walnut Pearl said...

Hi Rachel, It was unfair that you stopped the story with full of suspense. I am coming home to hear the rest!!

NRIGirl said...

Rachel is elated seeing your response and is happily writing more...

I will post it every Friday or as and when it accumulates...

deeps said...

it s always good to know there is something awaiting for posts such as these :)

Mangala said...

A bestseller in the making???? All the best Rachel!!

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