Mar 27, 2013

I am sorry


Waiting for my evening bus at Port Authority a couple of days ago, a lady walked up to me and asked if I could spare her a dollar; she was hungry. I instantly said, "I am sorry".

My reasoning was that I didn't have a $1 bill; but only a few $20's. I did not feel like extending a crisp $20 as I have done several times in the past out of a sudden emotion I had felt for the "needy", only to be fooled days later encountering the same few with different "needs".

I was being smart this time. They can't fool me again!

The lady moved on to the next person in the line, then to the next and so on. No body extended their hands. When she was at about the 5th person from me suddenly I began to panic.

What if she was really hungry? What if no one gave? So what if she might be a cheat. She looked hungry. The more I thought of her the more restless I felt.

I recalled all those coins I might be able to find in my bag - if I cared to look. Dropping my other belongings on the floor I frantically began to search. In a moment I had found a handful and was glad to spot a few quarters in it too.

I wasn't going to count, I would hand it all to her, I told my self.

When I looked up, she was gone!

I looked as far and wide as possible but she was nowhere to be seen.

Nowhere!

I am sorry.

I truly am. :(

9 comments:

anilkurup said...

Happens! Got to take it in the stride. You are not responsible for strife around .

....Petty Witter said...

Sad to say but it is impossible to help everyone and as anilkurup said you are not responsible for the worlds strife.

Sanand said...

That you wanted to give is the most important point that you are overlooking. The reason you didn't give is also important. The motive to help another who is in need - that itself absolves you of any need to feel guilty. Stay positive. The world needs positive people around to make all the difference.

ambikasinghsmusings said...

:)

I ignored a child once. He was begging for money. And I shooed him away. By the time, my auto moved, I saw him crying silently on the busiest, noisiest street of the city and my heart sank. WTF!! I regretted this episode for as long as I can remember and I still do.

KParthasarathi said...

No need to feel sorry.You had no smaller denomination save 20 dollar bills.If you had it,you would have helped.You are not solely responsible.Let someone else have the chance to help.

gigihawaii said...

It must have taken courage for that lady to beg for help. I, too, feel sorry...

MomWith aDot said...

There! You said it out loud and its out of you now. I'm sure you've moved on. Next time, try keeping small change in a separate pocket of your handbag or something - basically handy so you don't think too much now spend time digging next time :)

MomWith aDot said...

*too much OR spend time...

Rachna said...

Oh feel so sad. Not really your fault though!

Related Posts with Thumbnails
 
HostGator promo code