Agreeing to disagree

I find it interesting that in any bonding the major string that holds us together is the fundamental concept of agreeing to disagree. Among friends, it is quite common to see varying levels of disagreement on any given matter. Same way among family members too no two will think alike in all matters. There will surely be differences of opinion on one thing or another. The beauty in relationship is evident when these differences can co exist.

What triggered me to write this is that these days Israel and kids have occupied the whole living room to grow their seedlings in some unsightly containers. It seems to me that is the worst thing one can do to their living room and it puzzles them why I make such a fuss for a seemingly simple issue.

After a few days of disagreements, we have now agreed to disagree. They do understand I do not approve of it and I understand they do not have a Plan B. But do we fret anymore? No, not really. I play blind to the scene but secretly counting days for the weather to improve so that these can be planted outside... They are thinking of a plan B in case the weather remains this way for long... Okay, this was easy as it is with immediate family members and if you think about it, it is really not a big deal if your living room is not up to your taste for a few days or weeks or even months.

But how about extended family members and your 'touch-me-not' kind of "friends"? How can we work it out without causing further rift? My idea is to maintain the 'hi & bye' distance. Not getting too close to these lot lest it becomes an unsightly argument and of course to drop no hints of what you really feel about certain things. Just nod 'mhmmm', 'ahang' and it keeps it going...Okay, that is doable too.

But what about immediate family but really huge issues. Like you are dead against something your spouse really wants to do or on the other hand, you really wish to do something that he/she is dead against? Hmmm... now that gets tricky.

I would say, 'Let go' in the former and 'Do it' in the latter situation. Yes, this will cause conflict but trust me it will be only temporary. Remember the idea is to agreeing to disagree! After a while when you look back you will be glad you did what you did and he/she will be glad he/she did what he/she did. You will both learn from your mistakes of course and might do it differently given another chance; but the guilt of not doing at all will be stronger than that of doing it and later realizing your spouse was right in the first place.

The bond only gets stronger with that kind of realization, and yes this is "experience" talking. Would you like to disagree?! Sure, by all means...